Female Masturbation

I received an email request today asking me if masturbation is normal for women and if so how do you do it? First up, I'd like to say that it's totally normal and healthy for ANYONE to masturbate.

Luckily for our generation, the whole taboo of masturbation is starting to fade and people are no longer viewing it as a dirty thing. In the early 19th century, doctors falsely warned that masturbating would lead to paralysis or decrease a person’s intelligence or cause hair to grow on the palms.  John Harvey Kellogg, believed that masturbation was caused by “hot urges.” He thought the practice was a dangerous drain of ones energy reserves and decided to invent a food that tasted so boring and bland that it would cool the urge to masturbate. That's right, he created Kellogs Cornflakes.


So how do you actually masturbate? There is no right or wrong way, masturbation is a chance to discover your body and what turns you on.  Some lucky women can orgasm from breast stimulation alone, others need a combination of techniques.  Clitoral stimulation, rubbing of the labia or insertion of fingers into the vagina are the three main techniques. Sex toys, such as vibrators or bullets are almost guaranteed to bring you to orgasm easier.   A survey that was led by Debby Herbenick, PhD, MPH, of 2,056 women aged between 18 and 60, over half of them preferred to use a vibrator when masturbating or during sexual intercourse.

 It's safe to say that discovering what makes you orgasm through masturbation is a sure fire way of being able to orgasm better and faster during intercourse but there are many more benefits.  A release of endorphins and a hormone called oxycontin mean that a little bit of self loving will relax cramping soothe frustration, ease pain, help fight off depression and is a natural sleep sedative.


So remember, masturbation is not just for lonely men and porn stars.  It is perfectly normal and we don't need to be shy about it anymore!

Pubic Grooming

Obviously waxing and laser hair removal will keep your hair away for longer but if you don't feel like flashing your beaver to a total stranger, pubic grooming can be tackled at home.  All the hair doesn't have to be removed and you don't even need to shave if you don't want to.  A basic trim can be done with scissors or clippers.  Personally, I love to shave everything other than a small patch of hair, called a 'landing strip'.  You can go totally bald if you like, or get creative and shave in some patterns using templates.  You could get super creative and check out Vajazzling.  Anyway, here is a basic guide to shaving.  

You will need;

Scissors/ clippers

Shaving Foam

A mirror, preferably hand held

A decent razor with a new blade

Baby oil

Unscented Moisturiser

A mild ex foliating brush

• Using the scissors or clippers trim down the area you want to shave as low as you can, the less hair you have to shave, the sharper your razor will stay.  Hold your skin tight so you don't nick yourself.  If you can't see what you are doing, prop your leg up on the bathroom sink so you can see yourself in the mirror or use a hand held mirror.  I have the 'sexy step' from Pure Romance so I can prop my leg up in the shower without falling on my butt (plus it doubles as a sex in the shower step!) 

• Take a 5-10 minute hot shower or bath, use this time to gently ex foliate your skin with your favourite body wash, this removes dead skin cells ensuring a clean shave.  The heat from your bath is going to soften the skin and open up the hair follicles for a closer shave. 

• Applying some baby oil to the area you want to shave will help the razor to glide over the skin easily, preventing razor burn, irritations and ingrown hairs. Then apply your favourite shaving cream, make sure you follow the instructions to test for skin irritation first.  I like to use Coochy by Pure Romance (ok, so as you can probably tell by now I spend way too much on PR products) it smells great and doubles as a fantastic conditioner.  Take care not to get any shaving cream on your inner labia. 

• Shave in the same direction of the hair growth, remember to hold the skin tight and don't apply too much pressure. Shave in long smooth strokes, use as few strokes as possible and rinse your razor before it becomes clogged

• For an extremely clean shave,  re apply your shaving cream and go in the opposite direction of the hair.  If you are prone to ingrown hairs or razor burn this probably isn't worth the problems it will cause. Stop immediately if it begins to hurt or feel uncomfortable.

• When you are finished, rinse with warm water, pat dry and apply your moisturiser.  Be very careful not let your skin rub against clothes for as long as possible to avoid irritations

Tips

-Applying baby powder afterwards can help everything feel soft and avoid rashes

-Don't shave every day, allow at least three days to pass

-Mens shavers are designed for course think hair and work great on pubic hair

-If your going to have sex afterwards, remember that baby oil can damage condoms

-Avoid shaving during your period when your skin is more sensitive

Fifty Shades Of Grey

For the love of god, stop asking about this piece of shit book.  If you want to read decent erotic literature then check out http://www.literotica.com/top/.

“His pointer finger circled my puckered love cave. “Are you ready for this?” he mewled, smirking at me like a mother hamster about to eat her three-legged young.” - 50 Shades of Grey

How I got the green light to buy as many shoes as I want

A few nights ago I put on my favourite 'at home only' heels and for the first time ever I didn't take them off before we got freaky. What resulted could only be described as the worlds most incredible mind blowing confidence building sex of my life.  Wearing those slutty heels made me feel sexy and confident, they added a little extra spice and a totally different feel to the night.  We tried three new things that I have been putting off for months, hell years even,  because I felt too shy.     After our night of amazing sex thanks to my slutty heels I have been given the go ahead to get as many sexy shoes as I want. 

Although there health concerns over wearing heels there are also many benefits. Physically, wearing heels forces you to arch your back, pushing your breasts forwards and your butt out,  accentuating the female figure making you look and feel sexier.  To counter the elevated angle of the heels, your stomach muscles tighten and your pelvis is tucked under, increasing the ability of your pelvic muscles to contract which I am sure you are all aware leads to better sex, easier childbirth and less peeing yourself when you sneeze.  Wearing heels over 3 inches increases your chances of tripping three fold so you do have to be careful, try to get in the habit of stretching your lower back, hips and calves after wearing heels for a prolonged period of time.  

So there you are, the secret to getting your partner to let you buy shoes, put your slutty heels on and unleash your inner vixen! 

I'm not in the Mood!

Tomorrow marks the start of our new 'I'm not in the Mood' sex game. My husband and I were reading an article on the worlds heaviest woman losing over 44kgs just by having a lot of sex (read here.) The following quote really stood out to me and although I can certainly fit into sexy lingerie, the thought of this made me cringe.

"My bed is strengthened and, although I can’t buy sexy lingerie, I drape a nice sheet over me.”

So it got my husband and I talking, we're both on a fitness binge at the moment and we certainly have sex more often than the average married couple but according to my husband, he has a much higher sex drive and I couldn't keep up with him. Competition! My brain is buzzing, hook, line and sinker he's got me. Anybody who knows me can understand that I have a highly addictive personality and I have never been able to knock back a challenge. So cue our game, first person to not be in the mood for sex loses.


So I'll admit, although I have a fantastic sex life, I'm not always in the mood.  After a day of the kids screaming, a poo-splosion on my favourite pj's (I was going to lie and say shirt but we all know I live in my pj's,) the house is a mess, I'm behind on the washing and I still have a billion things to do, the last thing on my mind is sex. I'm hoping that this game is going to change the way I think about sex, I want it to be something I look forward to, I want to learn to acknowledge that I'm not a man, I'm not going to be 'in the mood' until I let myself get into the mood.  Really how hard is it to sacrifice a small portion of my day to sex, I may not be in the mood when I'm propositioned but I'm damn sure I'll get into once we start.  So I've managed to forget about all the crap I have that giddy smile that can only be achieved by a little bit of special loving and  my husband is in a great mood and  more willing to help around the house because he feels like a man (strange creatures aren't they?)  

How to Perform Great Oral Sex (for men)

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10 Rules for Toy Safety

1. Inspect your toy for tears or breaks before use, if it's damaged in any way DO NOT USE IT


2. Wash your toys thoroughly after every use using the manufacturers instructions


3.  Don't use silicon lubricants on silicon toys or oil based lubricants on toys made from rubber or latex (including condoms!)


4. If using a toy vaginally and anally or with multiple partners, put a condom over the top and change to a new condom before the toy is moved to a new place.


5.  Never store silicone toys together, they can 'melt' into each other.  Ideally, store all your toys is separate sealed bags or organza bags (a lot sexier!)


6. Never used breakable household items (like glass bottles) as sex toys.  That body shattering orgasm might be a bit more 'shattering' than you think.


7. Remove batteries after use and store them elsewhere, corroded batteries will ruin your toy.


8. Only use anal toys that have a flared base or handle of some sort at the end for, ermm... easy retrieval if things go pear shaped.


9.  Sex toys CAN transmit STI's, if sharing a toy or using on multiple partners, always use a condom.


10. If you feel any sort of irritation using a toy or lubricant stop use immediately.  Allergies and irritations are common with certain materials.  Try switching to an organic toy or lubricant such as coconut oil.  Frequent infections can also be related to certain lubricants which can be high in sugars.

Things Girls Do That Turn Guys Off

This is something I have often thought about, we all hate men expecting oral but not giving it or only caring about their own orgasm but what is it that us women do that drive men bonkers? So while my husband tried to watch tv I badgered him into telling me what we do that irks men and yes, I'm guilty of some of them as well.

Talking about the Ex

A big no no, he doesn't want to know about how long your ex lasted in bed, or how great a lover he was or your favourite secret sex spots.  If he asks that's ok, but don't volunteer this sort of information.

Prying, Insecurity and Trust Issues

There is nothing worse than a woman who won't let you go to the pub with the boys or has to ring up every ten minutes to make sure you aren't hanging with girls.  NEVER go through his phone, never go through his computer, no exceptions. 

Poor Grooming

Ok, so we're not asking for a brazillian every time he sees you but a bit of a trim never goes astray.  

Elbows during Blowjobs

DON'T REST YOUR ELBOWS ON HIS THIGHS. It hurts and he won't be able to cum, it's not a lounge chair ladies.

All Teeth no Tongue

If there is any part of this entry you should pay attention to it's this one.  For the love of god, don't use teeth during blowjobs.  Some girls can pull off a sexy light scraping with their teeth but most of you can't, it's a horrid turn off.  On the same note, just sticking your mouth on it and going up and down isn't going to do it, you need to use your tongue the whole time.

Is that Good?

What do you think? Of course it's good so shut up and put your mouth back on it.  If you are genuinely having troubles figuring out if we are enjoying it then it's ok to ask but don't keep asking. We want to know you are having a good time too, so chuck a bit of light moaning in there.

Won't try New Things

Ok so maybe you don't want to try anal, that's ok but 7pm bedroom sex every night in the missionary position is not.  Men would rather have lustful exciting sex once a week than boring sex every night.  Try a quickie in the bathroom or surprise him with midnight sex.

Being Over The Top

Men know when your faking all that noise, you've seen porn, do any of those women seem genuine? No and they do it every day for a living, if professional actresses can't fake it realistically neither can you. The total opposite is just as bad though, he needs to be able to see/ hear that you are into it, nobody likes a starfish.

How To Give Great Head

In my opinion the fellatio (a blow job) is one of the most underutilized sex acts there is, not enough women give them often enough and some won't at all.  If you want your partner to treat you like a princess you need to treat him like a porn star. In this entry I'm going to go over the basics of giving great head, I'm sure in the near future I will put up some more varied techniques but for now we'll focus on some easy not so confronting stuff. As an attempt to not offend anyone I'm going to try and use correct terms, though in reality the thought of calling it a 'penis' sends me into fits of childish laughter, we use the 'c word' in our house as I think it's far sexier.

First things first, a blow job doesn't have to be staged, he doesn't have to be hard to begin performing oral sex and he most certainly doesn't have to ask for it to be in the mood for one. Don't act like this is a chore, let him know (or make him think) you are really into it.  I have to admit, sometimes I am really not in the mood for sex and definitely not in the mood to give him head but for me it's a quick fix, I put a smile on my face and make him think I'm really into it.  It doesn't take that long, it doesn't have to be messy and it leaves you in the good books for a long time.

A common fantasy for men is to to wake up to his partner giving him a blow job, my husband tells me that it turns him on knowing that I initiated it, he didn't have to ask and it came when he wasn't expecting it.  In our hectic lives we often put of having sex until our partners are bugging us for it, so wouldn't it be a nice change to suprise him with a sexual treat without him having to ask?   Start by taking your partners flaccid penis in your mouth, usually you can get the whole thing in when it's soft and it's a great deep throating illusion. Use your tongue to slowly massage the shaft, gently suck and you will feel him begin to get hard, usually he will start to wake by this time.  Begin your eye contact, confidence and eye contact are the key to a great blow job, look him straight in the eye and continue to use your tongue to massage him to a full erection.  

Wrap your mouth tightly around his penis and being very careful to not use teeth at any point, slowly bring your mouth up, try and use some variety by twisting your head a little as you do, twirl your tongue or 'pulse' your mouth then stop and give him a simple sexy sentence.  Now isn't the time for a full blown dirty talking session, tell him he tastes good, or you love sucking him off and then go straight back to it.  Remember that confidence is the key to any great sexual act, the more into it you seem, the more into it you will BOTH get.

Alternate between moves, Try and remember to work your tongue around in little circles, move up and down or press against the penis at the same time as you work your mouth up and down the shaft.  Change the pressure you apply, use soft lips and hard tongue, then hard tongue, pulsing mouth etc.  Remember to use your hands to fondle his balls or squeeze his thighs, do bursts of stroking his shaft while you pay attention to the head of the penis. Pay keen attention to your lover, if you can feel him twitching, see he's really enjoying it and isn't trying to push for more keep doing what you are doing.  As soon as his movements dull, or it doesn't seem as exciting, swap to a different type of movement.  You don't have to keep going up and down on it, men are visual creatures, take it out your mouth and lick it all over, including his balls and pay special attention to the head of the penis, the most sensitive part.  

If your partner gets really into it he is likely to thrust into your mouth as you're doing it, if he goes too far in and hits your gag reflex just swallow, it stops the gagging, not that he cares, it's just an extra fantastic sensation to him and he enjoys knowing his penis is big enough to make you gag.  If it makes you uncomfortable tell him afterwards, don't pull away and tell him off, now is not the time. Let him have his moment and then have a calm discussion with him later on in the night and explain why you don't like it. If you continually gag, don't put as much in your mouth, wrap one of your hands around the base of his shaft and give it some loving, he will love the sensations and it will stop him from being able to get in deep enough to make you gag.

I've never met a man that cums without warning you, if he doesn't you can usually tell he is about to when he starts pulsing hard. and thrusting into you.  When he warns you he is about to cum, don't change what you are doing, slightly increase the pressure and allow him to thrust into your mouth or grab your hair.  A hand job is great but a blowjob is better, don't go back a step, if you don't like swallowing for whatever reason, don't finish him off with a hand job, it's just cruel.  Tell him in a sexy voice that you want him to blow on your face/chest.  If you are willing to swallow, as he blows wrap your mouth tightly around his penis and use your tongue to 'milk' every last drop out of him.  If you place your tongue flat against his shaft and take him as deep in your mouth as you can you can avoid the semen hitting most your taste buds if you don't like the taste.  Never ever pull faces or say yuck, wait until he's ready to pull out then excuse yourself to get a drink if you need to.

Some Hints and Tips:

• Moaning as you do it will send vibrations along his penis and let him know you're into it
• Keep it wet, use edible lube or lots of saliva, friction burn is never good
• Grab it and suck it hard, it won't break
• Remember to breathe through your nose
• Never spit it out or kiss him afterwards (unless he asks!)
• Try putting some fizzy drink, ice or mints in your mouth for an extra buzz
• Everybody is different, what works for some won't on others, remember this is a guide only
• Experiment with new things and pay attention to his body language to see if hes enjoying it
• Ask him what he likes, don't be shy!

As usual if you have any questions or input just leave a comment.

Ex-T-Cee

Ex-T-Cee is a topical arousal cream designed to increase blood flow and heighten the sensitivity.You only need to apply a small pea sized drop onto your clitoris so the cream lasts for ages, making it great value for money.  Not only does it provide a great minty tingly feeling for you, it's also edible and tastes great, a fantastic enhancer for oral sex, if you get your partner to gently blow on you it will feel fabulous!

 I've always been a bit paranoid about receiving oral sex, I can't imagine that a vagina would taste all that nice and I can never relax enough to enjoy it. One of the great advantages of this cream is the taste, I find that most arousal creams or edible lubes tastes foul but I genuinely enjoy the taste of this stuff and the flavour seems to last a long time.  

 I would recommend this to anyone who struggles to orgasm, I am seriously lucky to cum, it takes a lot for me and the first time I used this cream I came twice within ten minutes, I know that seems like a blatant lie in an attempt to get people to buy this but I swear it's not.  I don't get paid for any reviews and I don't make money from sales, everything I write on this blog is my own opinion shared purely to benefit others.

 Here is a link to the consultant I use, she's really friendly, helpful and throws an awesome party.  You can purchase through her site or host a party if you are in the South West of WA, feel free to leave a comment if you have any questions.

The Escort and Client

Let's start with a safe word, make sure before hand your partner knows what it is.  Now is the time to be confident and do what you do best, not experiment with new things.  Lay out the boundaries and discuss exactly what you both want out of this; there's nothing worse than ending up with a face full of jizz when you just wanted to be called a slut a few times. Remember, no laughing! Even if your partner says something seriously dicky, don't go killing the moment. You can go with as little or as much detail as you want but from experience, the more detail the easier it is to 'become' your character.

Although men seem to be the ones to request role playing in the bedroom, they are usually the most awkward during the night.  Playing the client is an easy role to do, a nice shirt and tie = businessman, bonus points if you bring a briefcase with your favorite toys. Alternatively you can just use your comfortable at home clothes or birthday suit for a house call or neat attire if you plan on meeting at a pub/ club.

Now for my favorite part, the escort costume! Get the trashiest panties you can find, I scored a flimsy little tie up pair for only $7.50 along with some fishnet stockings and these great heels from Fantasy Footwear.  A quick search on ebay for 'club wear' found me the perfect tight red mini dress that zips open from the front and a great tacky blonde wig for $60.  There are cheaper wigs out there but you do get what you pay for, I wasn't willing to pay much more than that but there are some fantastic more expensive ones out there. Get out your red lipstick, your shiniest lip gloss, pile on the mascara and put on your big hoop earrings.  Take your time getting ready, this is all a part of the foreplay, you need to feel sexy to act sexy.

Location, location, location! Are you going to get ready at home and suprise him for a house call? How about booking a cheap motel for the night to set the scene or if you're really game, take your tarted up self down to a pub or club (make sure it's not in your town or you don't care about being recognized!) Planning is everything, it's the build up of organising your naughty night that helps build the lust so don't go planning everything yourself and giving your partner their 'orders'.  Sit up in bed talking about how you would like it to pan out and browse the net together looking at costumes.  Use this as an opportunity to get to know your partner a bit better, I found out my husband has a bit of a fantasy about me in a tiny mini dress that he can catch a peek of my panties as I walk.

Try to be confident, your partner loves you and accepts you for who you are.  Take a big breath and step into the shoes of your new character, there is nothing sexier than confidence. Use your best dirty talk, take your time and make sure that every item of clothing you remove is done slowly and sensually.  Try and refrain from letting yourself cum (unless that's what your client wants) you are here to tend to their needs.  Blowjobs and handjobs aren't just for teenagers, use this time to bring out the deviant in you and do something that you haven't done in a while, that means no missionary! Missionary is banned from this roleplay! Stay in character till you fall asleep, don't go being buzzkillington asking how great your acting is wwhen he hasn't even had time to recover and you never know, there might be plans for more!

Waiting Game

Over the past week my husband and I have been planning a naughty weekend, we have a voucher for a local dodgy motel which gave us a great idea for some role play. Every day our heads have been filled with wicked thoughts on how to make the experience more fun.  He will be the powerful CEO who doesn't want to be caught banging a cheap hooker (played graciously by me). The kids are off to the grandparents for the day and out come my hooker heels, a tarty red dress, blonde wig and my slutty lingerie. With the suspense building we haven't been able to keep our hands off each other all week.  Bent over the kitchen bench or locking ourselves in the bathroom for a quicky, our lust for each other is out of this world at the moment.  In fact, we even stayed up the other night uploading some of our naughty pics onto an amateur porn site.

In other news we recently made a few purchases on Wild Secrets and the parcel can't arrive soon enough. With every California Exotic or Pipe Dream product you purchase from their site you get a free gift, so after spending a bit over $100 on toys and $10 on registered post I have 22 new toys coming, not to mention the lingerie and stripper heels I bought from their sister sites. I'm so over this waiting game, COME ON POSTMAN!

A Short Introduction

My husband and I are a young married couple with two young children, too many responsibilities and not enough time for ourselves.  We are writing this blog to encourage us to take the time out of our hectic lives and focus on our relationship, both romantically and sexually. This is not about product promotion or making money, I will never advertise on this blog and my reviews will be my utmost honest opinion.