Female Masturbation

I received an email request today asking me if masturbation is normal for women and if so how do you do it? First up, I'd like to say that it's totally normal and healthy for ANYONE to masturbate.

Luckily for our generation, the whole taboo of masturbation is starting to fade and people are no longer viewing it as a dirty thing. In the early 19th century, doctors falsely warned that masturbating would lead to paralysis or decrease a person’s intelligence or cause hair to grow on the palms.  John Harvey Kellogg, believed that masturbation was caused by “hot urges.” He thought the practice was a dangerous drain of ones energy reserves and decided to invent a food that tasted so boring and bland that it would cool the urge to masturbate. That's right, he created Kellogs Cornflakes.


So how do you actually masturbate? There is no right or wrong way, masturbation is a chance to discover your body and what turns you on.  Some lucky women can orgasm from breast stimulation alone, others need a combination of techniques.  Clitoral stimulation, rubbing of the labia or insertion of fingers into the vagina are the three main techniques. Sex toys, such as vibrators or bullets are almost guaranteed to bring you to orgasm easier.   A survey that was led by Debby Herbenick, PhD, MPH, of 2,056 women aged between 18 and 60, over half of them preferred to use a vibrator when masturbating or during sexual intercourse.

 It's safe to say that discovering what makes you orgasm through masturbation is a sure fire way of being able to orgasm better and faster during intercourse but there are many more benefits.  A release of endorphins and a hormone called oxycontin mean that a little bit of self loving will relax cramping soothe frustration, ease pain, help fight off depression and is a natural sleep sedative.


So remember, masturbation is not just for lonely men and porn stars.  It is perfectly normal and we don't need to be shy about it anymore!

Pubic Grooming

Obviously waxing and laser hair removal will keep your hair away for longer but if you don't feel like flashing your beaver to a total stranger, pubic grooming can be tackled at home.  All the hair doesn't have to be removed and you don't even need to shave if you don't want to.  A basic trim can be done with scissors or clippers.  Personally, I love to shave everything other than a small patch of hair, called a 'landing strip'.  You can go totally bald if you like, or get creative and shave in some patterns using templates.  You could get super creative and check out Vajazzling.  Anyway, here is a basic guide to shaving.  

You will need;

Scissors/ clippers

Shaving Foam

A mirror, preferably hand held

A decent razor with a new blade

Baby oil

Unscented Moisturiser

A mild ex foliating brush

• Using the scissors or clippers trim down the area you want to shave as low as you can, the less hair you have to shave, the sharper your razor will stay.  Hold your skin tight so you don't nick yourself.  If you can't see what you are doing, prop your leg up on the bathroom sink so you can see yourself in the mirror or use a hand held mirror.  I have the 'sexy step' from Pure Romance so I can prop my leg up in the shower without falling on my butt (plus it doubles as a sex in the shower step!) 

• Take a 5-10 minute hot shower or bath, use this time to gently ex foliate your skin with your favourite body wash, this removes dead skin cells ensuring a clean shave.  The heat from your bath is going to soften the skin and open up the hair follicles for a closer shave. 

• Applying some baby oil to the area you want to shave will help the razor to glide over the skin easily, preventing razor burn, irritations and ingrown hairs. Then apply your favourite shaving cream, make sure you follow the instructions to test for skin irritation first.  I like to use Coochy by Pure Romance (ok, so as you can probably tell by now I spend way too much on PR products) it smells great and doubles as a fantastic conditioner.  Take care not to get any shaving cream on your inner labia. 

• Shave in the same direction of the hair growth, remember to hold the skin tight and don't apply too much pressure. Shave in long smooth strokes, use as few strokes as possible and rinse your razor before it becomes clogged

• For an extremely clean shave,  re apply your shaving cream and go in the opposite direction of the hair.  If you are prone to ingrown hairs or razor burn this probably isn't worth the problems it will cause. Stop immediately if it begins to hurt or feel uncomfortable.

• When you are finished, rinse with warm water, pat dry and apply your moisturiser.  Be very careful not let your skin rub against clothes for as long as possible to avoid irritations

Tips

-Applying baby powder afterwards can help everything feel soft and avoid rashes

-Don't shave every day, allow at least three days to pass

-Mens shavers are designed for course think hair and work great on pubic hair

-If your going to have sex afterwards, remember that baby oil can damage condoms

-Avoid shaving during your period when your skin is more sensitive

Fifty Shades Of Grey

For the love of god, stop asking about this piece of shit book.  If you want to read decent erotic literature then check out http://www.literotica.com/top/.

“His pointer finger circled my puckered love cave. “Are you ready for this?” he mewled, smirking at me like a mother hamster about to eat her three-legged young.” - 50 Shades of Grey

How I got the green light to buy as many shoes as I want

A few nights ago I put on my favourite 'at home only' heels and for the first time ever I didn't take them off before we got freaky. What resulted could only be described as the worlds most incredible mind blowing confidence building sex of my life.  Wearing those slutty heels made me feel sexy and confident, they added a little extra spice and a totally different feel to the night.  We tried three new things that I have been putting off for months, hell years even,  because I felt too shy.     After our night of amazing sex thanks to my slutty heels I have been given the go ahead to get as many sexy shoes as I want. 

Although there health concerns over wearing heels there are also many benefits. Physically, wearing heels forces you to arch your back, pushing your breasts forwards and your butt out,  accentuating the female figure making you look and feel sexier.  To counter the elevated angle of the heels, your stomach muscles tighten and your pelvis is tucked under, increasing the ability of your pelvic muscles to contract which I am sure you are all aware leads to better sex, easier childbirth and less peeing yourself when you sneeze.  Wearing heels over 3 inches increases your chances of tripping three fold so you do have to be careful, try to get in the habit of stretching your lower back, hips and calves after wearing heels for a prolonged period of time.  

So there you are, the secret to getting your partner to let you buy shoes, put your slutty heels on and unleash your inner vixen! 

I'm not in the Mood!

Tomorrow marks the start of our new 'I'm not in the Mood' sex game. My husband and I were reading an article on the worlds heaviest woman losing over 44kgs just by having a lot of sex (read here.) The following quote really stood out to me and although I can certainly fit into sexy lingerie, the thought of this made me cringe.

"My bed is strengthened and, although I can’t buy sexy lingerie, I drape a nice sheet over me.”

So it got my husband and I talking, we're both on a fitness binge at the moment and we certainly have sex more often than the average married couple but according to my husband, he has a much higher sex drive and I couldn't keep up with him. Competition! My brain is buzzing, hook, line and sinker he's got me. Anybody who knows me can understand that I have a highly addictive personality and I have never been able to knock back a challenge. So cue our game, first person to not be in the mood for sex loses.


So I'll admit, although I have a fantastic sex life, I'm not always in the mood.  After a day of the kids screaming, a poo-splosion on my favourite pj's (I was going to lie and say shirt but we all know I live in my pj's,) the house is a mess, I'm behind on the washing and I still have a billion things to do, the last thing on my mind is sex. I'm hoping that this game is going to change the way I think about sex, I want it to be something I look forward to, I want to learn to acknowledge that I'm not a man, I'm not going to be 'in the mood' until I let myself get into the mood.  Really how hard is it to sacrifice a small portion of my day to sex, I may not be in the mood when I'm propositioned but I'm damn sure I'll get into once we start.  So I've managed to forget about all the crap I have that giddy smile that can only be achieved by a little bit of special loving and  my husband is in a great mood and  more willing to help around the house because he feels like a man (strange creatures aren't they?)  

How to Perform Great Oral Sex (for men)

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.